A Portrait of Queer (Married) Life in America

As Washington State puts the issue of gay marriage on the fast track I can’t help but get an excited flutter that my home-sweet-home-state is about to make a lot of people very happy.  I’ve never been one to say that marriage is right or necessary for everyone, but I do happen to think that it’s particularly medieval to not have the choice!

I want to hear from some of you married queer folks out there.  I want to know; are you queering what it looks like and feels like to be married and possibly the hertronormative expectations that go along with it?   I want to hear from those of you who are planning a wedding – how is (or isn’t) your wedding queer??

I won’t often cross promote on this blog but I feel like today it feels right, as we inch closer and closer to passing this bill, and my two worlds threaten overlap.  For the last year I have been photographing weddings.  It happened on accident when my (straight) little sister had the queerest wedding I’ve even been to.  My heart burst open and I saw the tradition and event with new eyes.  I’ve been hooked ever since, and just made this website as a way to promote the work.   BUT…I really would love to photograph MORE QUEER WEDDINGS (duh!).  Come on Washington (or anywhere really!) say I Do.  www.mollylandrethweddings.com

One response to “A Portrait of Queer (Married) Life in America

  1. Annie Van Avery

    Hi Molly. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. My moms were just a part of an interview w/my Mom’s partners family (Irish Catholic) about their feelings regarding the amendment in MN to make marriage “between a man and a woman”. In the interview something came up that I was not aware of. Over 10 years ago my Mom and her partner had a ceremony that my sister and I were not even invited to because they felt the other side of the family was not ready for it. I thought they had just wanted a small, private ceremony. The fact that they had to deal with that only a short time ago and now they are facing a vote to confirm homophobia is alive, well, and acceptable is heartbreaking. I myself have been in relationships with men and women. For the past 4 years I have been with a man and we now have two daughters together. We are not married. Partially this is because we feel our commitment to each other is strong and solid and we don’t need a wedding to confirm that. However, I am deeply aware that this is our choice. A privilege that I would not have if I happened to have a woman as the love of my life. I agree with what I think you are stating. Weddings, marriage, not for everyone. But it is criminal that it is not an equal right. A choice. I love a good wedding (especially a good gay wedding!). I may not want one now, but I want that choice and damn it, I REALLY want to be there when/if my Mom and her partner are able to be joined in matrimony.

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